Only on Legends of Tomorrow could a tale of a man and his nipple be a long-running story arc.
Season 4, Episode 14
Starring Brandon Routh, Caity Lotz, Maisie Richardson-Sellers, Tala Ashe, Jes Macallan, Courtney Ford, Amy Louise Pemberton, Ramona Young, Nick Zano, Dominic Purcell and Matt Ryan
Again, Legends shows its ability to juggle its large cast among different storyline strands. To summarise from last week, Ray has sacrificed himself to Hell to allow Neron to take over his body, has kidnapped Constantine and has turned Gary evil upon granting him back his lost nipple.
Neron sets about his evil machinations immediately. Knowing that he needs to release Tabitha from Hell, he needs to get both the Legends and the Time Bureau out of the way. To this end, his lures the Legends to the Ice Age in what will become the Donner Pass, tricking them into causing an avalanche that traps the Legends in the Waverider. Meanwhile, he dispatches Gary to the Time Bureau to brainwash the workers.
On board the Waverider, Mick and Sara (the only original Legends left on the time) struggle for dominance as they both have competing ideas from how to save themselves from their current predicament. Charlie intervenes to try and bring unity between the two, helping the two realise that they need Ray’s help to get them out of the situation. Using Ray’s tips, they play his team building game, allowing them to escape the ice by turning on the Waverider’s engine and melting the ice.
Back at the Time Bureau, Nora has become a Time Agent and has to set about doing paperwork (because that’s what you do when a powerful demon is on the loose and you can’t find it, right?). Gary appears and starts work evaluations and when each worker emerges they are clearly brainwashed into thinking that Gary is amazing. Mona immediately notices that something is amiss, though makes the rookie mistake of trusting Nora, who locks Mona in a separate area of the Time Bureau, having also been brainwashed. Using her Kaupe side, Mona goes for her work evaluation with Gary. It transpires that Gary’s nipple has been possessed from its time that it spent in Hell, which has turned Gary evil and can be used to hypnotise (or nip-notise) people. Mona, therefore, bites off his nipple. Crisis averted.
Neron, meanwhile, needs Constantine’s help to open a portal to Hell. Ultimately, he needn’t have bothered anyway, as Constantine’s ancestor King Constantine opens a portal, allowing Neron to pull Tabitha back from Hell before the Legends arrive. It transpires that Tabitha is the Fairy Godmother who we saw earlier in the season. While Constantine throws himself into Hell to rescue Ray, Neron and Tabitha head off to the Time Bureau and, along with Gary, kidnap Mona. Nora sets off after them, while Ava goes to tell the Legends.
After quite a buildup, Zari and Nate are enjoying themselves and spend most of the episode having sex, while also caring for a dragon egg as if it were their baby. At one point, they even have sex while Zari looks pregnant, so that’s a thing.
I feel like this was one of the rare episodes where everybody actually performed a decent narrative function.
It was great to see Sara and Mick acknowledge the changes that have been made to the Waverider since they first started. It’s good to know that the show hasn’t forgotten their roots.
A haunted nipple is probably the most disturbing thing that I have seen on TV ever. Who thinks of this stuff?
The fact that the Legends did not tell the Time Bureau that Neron was in the Ice Age is just negligent. They have a time machine, they definitely had time to tell them, and then Nora wouldn’t have been stuck doing paperwork and might have been able to defeat Neron. Communicate, guys. Sheesh.
Next week sees Neron start his evil plan through using the Terms and Conditions of an application, which is criminal genius if I’ve ever seen it.